More Monsters Under the Bed- Aluxes Version
For months now we've been fighting the monsters under Max's bed. I thought we had it licked after De-Monsterizing, but the big bad uglies have reared their nasty heads and are putting a damper on our nights (and mornings and afternoons now). Max is convinced that there are not only monsters in his room, but the monsters have started to appear in our bathrooms and most recently at his school.
Last week he was VERY insistent that he had seen the monster outside his classroom. So insistent that he told the same story over and over, exactly the same details every time. I got called in to the school to discuss the story, as unfortunately his monster is naked and he thought he would describe him in great anatomical detail to the whole class of three year olds. I can't even tell you how many times I had to stop myself from laughing as he described "and his penis was hanging out as he ran around and I saw his bum with no clothes on!"
Yesterday as Max was walking into our bathroom and talking a mile a minute, he stopped dead in his tracks and went silent. He backed slowly out of the bathroom and whispered to me "The kid monster is in there, shhhh." Gave me the willies to be honest, it was truly like he had seen something, broad daylight or not.
Now here is where I start to get weirded out. In the past, he's only told us of a generic monster, no description other than "He's going to get me". Recently the description has become quite detailed, and always the same. "He's really tiny, like a kid, with no clothes on, he's blue and he's scary and he's going to eat my friends and get me in trouble". I asked Max how he walked and he immediately hunched his shoulders over like a little old man and started walking slowly with his hands reaching out, on his tippy toes but with his knees bent. As soon as he did that, my mind flipped to "ALUX!". He's seeing an alux, the mischievous little mythological creature of the Yucatan peninsula!
Now, before you all say "You're nuts!", I'll say it first. Ok, maybe not nuts, just open minded and willing to look to the supernatural, especially in this land so full of history and legends. Legends have to come from somewhere, right? Why couldn't he be seeing an alux? It's as good an explanation as any and far more fun than "repressed fear of abandonment, blah blah blah".
So what do we do? For starters, we've begun empowering Max over the monsters, encouraging him to address them (in a friendly way), introduce himself and ask their name, ask what they want and then tell them that this is our house and ask if they could kindly find someone else to scare. This is in addition to explaining to him that they are in his imagination and that he has control over what is happening in his mind. My parents are coming to visit in January and we plan on redecorating his room, making it warmer and more inviting (to humans, not monsters). Once we've redecorated, LisaLoveLoca has offered to do a cleansing of the room, in full shaman form to eliminate any residual bad energy. We're arming him with a flash light and a spray bottle full of "Monster Repellant" that he can spray at will (empty spray bottle, you know, imaginary spray for imaginary creatures). But mostly we are offering comforting arms, warm hugs and big kisses to soothe his scared little heart. I hate to see him so terrified, it's full on panic sometimes, it's enough to make me cry.
I guess I should be putting out some offerings to the alux too, mischievous little buggers like treats and I might as well appease them. Heck, we're going to put out milk and cookies for Santa, some hay for the Three Kings, why not some sopes and tequila for the alux?
For now, I have accepted that Max will sleep with me for a while, we cannot bear to see him suffering such horrible night terrors. We're hoping it's a phase that will pass and that with all the work we are putting into it, it will pass sooner rather than later.
Ok, Mr. Alux, leave my baby alone ok? He really doesn't need your help in causing trouble, I think he's one of your kind already. Adios!!
Last week he was VERY insistent that he had seen the monster outside his classroom. So insistent that he told the same story over and over, exactly the same details every time. I got called in to the school to discuss the story, as unfortunately his monster is naked and he thought he would describe him in great anatomical detail to the whole class of three year olds. I can't even tell you how many times I had to stop myself from laughing as he described "and his penis was hanging out as he ran around and I saw his bum with no clothes on!"
Yesterday as Max was walking into our bathroom and talking a mile a minute, he stopped dead in his tracks and went silent. He backed slowly out of the bathroom and whispered to me "The kid monster is in there, shhhh." Gave me the willies to be honest, it was truly like he had seen something, broad daylight or not.
Now here is where I start to get weirded out. In the past, he's only told us of a generic monster, no description other than "He's going to get me". Recently the description has become quite detailed, and always the same. "He's really tiny, like a kid, with no clothes on, he's blue and he's scary and he's going to eat my friends and get me in trouble". I asked Max how he walked and he immediately hunched his shoulders over like a little old man and started walking slowly with his hands reaching out, on his tippy toes but with his knees bent. As soon as he did that, my mind flipped to "ALUX!". He's seeing an alux, the mischievous little mythological creature of the Yucatan peninsula!
Now, before you all say "You're nuts!", I'll say it first. Ok, maybe not nuts, just open minded and willing to look to the supernatural, especially in this land so full of history and legends. Legends have to come from somewhere, right? Why couldn't he be seeing an alux? It's as good an explanation as any and far more fun than "repressed fear of abandonment, blah blah blah".
So what do we do? For starters, we've begun empowering Max over the monsters, encouraging him to address them (in a friendly way), introduce himself and ask their name, ask what they want and then tell them that this is our house and ask if they could kindly find someone else to scare. This is in addition to explaining to him that they are in his imagination and that he has control over what is happening in his mind. My parents are coming to visit in January and we plan on redecorating his room, making it warmer and more inviting (to humans, not monsters). Once we've redecorated, LisaLoveLoca has offered to do a cleansing of the room, in full shaman form to eliminate any residual bad energy. We're arming him with a flash light and a spray bottle full of "Monster Repellant" that he can spray at will (empty spray bottle, you know, imaginary spray for imaginary creatures). But mostly we are offering comforting arms, warm hugs and big kisses to soothe his scared little heart. I hate to see him so terrified, it's full on panic sometimes, it's enough to make me cry.
I guess I should be putting out some offerings to the alux too, mischievous little buggers like treats and I might as well appease them. Heck, we're going to put out milk and cookies for Santa, some hay for the Three Kings, why not some sopes and tequila for the alux?
For now, I have accepted that Max will sleep with me for a while, we cannot bear to see him suffering such horrible night terrors. We're hoping it's a phase that will pass and that with all the work we are putting into it, it will pass sooner rather than later.
Ok, Mr. Alux, leave my baby alone ok? He really doesn't need your help in causing trouble, I think he's one of your kind already. Adios!!
Comments
http://www.wordswithoutborders.org/?lab=Alux
Hungry Smurf????
But seriously I praise you for taking what he's saying to heart. Kids are extremely intuitive and can see things that adults have taught themselves not to. Keep doing what you're doing, and have him not fear what he sees, but better understand it. And asking it questions is a good place to start. Also, if Max says he sees one, simply talk to the alux yourself so that Max thinks you see him too, and yet you're not afraid.
enjoy the season! it's such a precious time of year with little ones.
school is closed because of 2 inches of snow. that will probably sound funny to you being from canada, i lived in rochester n.y. as a kid and it had to snow a lot more for school to close. however, this is a very hilly area and driving on the ice is very dangerous. lots of districts in western wa. are closed.
take care,
teresa
-h
Keep up the good work hon. Lets get together.
Anon- Creo que esta viendo ALGO, no se que es, pero el pobrecito esta sufriendo. Gracias por tu comento y disculpe mi español!
Sue- I'm like you, I had a nightlight for years. I love that you have an alux, I hope he's a protective one.
Sandye- He's getting lots of hugs, poor baby indeed. :(
American Mommy- Definitely a challenge, I'm doing my best to find some way to offer him comfort at the very least.
Brice- LOL! Hungry Smurf it is. I guess I shouldn't buy the "Smurfs Christmas" DVD I saw today. :)
My Guey- Thanks girl, it's an interesting challenge for me, balancing act of encouraging his creativity, recognizing his abilities and showing him that I trust him but also letting him know that whatever he sees can't hurt him, that it is something in his mind. Ay, mi cabeza.
K.W.- For some reason outside is ok for me, but inside can still give me troubles in strange places.
Teresa- We're enjoying the season for sure, thanks! I saw the news about all the snow up in Toronto today, ouch! I send you virtual warmth and sunshine to melt that ice.
Anon- I believe in the spirit world and believe that any kind of prayer or mantra or positive thinking can help, thank you.
Heather- Thanks mami, I appreciate the kind words. I'm just going with the flow here, trying to figure out what works!
Michele- Crying Mary might be "La Llorona", a famous Mexican myth about a woman who kills her children then herself and can be heard crying and wailing "where are my children?" throughout the town. Lots of variations on that one all over Mexico.
Rosas Clan- Thanks girl, glad Kennedy got through it (and you!). I'm working on breathing with Max, we do a really loose interpretation of yoga (with a lot more bouncing around and "Look what I can do!" moments than your average yoga class). I'll send you a message about getting together, I've got some time coming up. :)
Para eso están sus papás, para cuidarlo.
Este enano es muy especial y lo amo mucho.
Papá de Max.