Spanish for dummies (like me)

What I said:
"Quiero papel de baño con mantequilla".
"I want the toilet paper with butter."


What I meant:

"Quiero papel de baño con manzanilla".
"I want the toilet paper with chamomile."
(and really, what was I thinking with scented TP?)


What I said:

"Deportes bien".
"Sports good."


What I meant:

"Te portas bien."
"Behave/be good."


What I said:
"Voy a salir aceite".
"I am going to go out oil."


What I meant:
"Voy a salir a siete."
"I am going to go out at seven."


What I said:
"Estas en colita?"
"Are you in the ass?"

What I meant:
"Estas en cola?"
"Are you in line?"


What I said:

"Estoy embarazada."
"I am pregnant."

What I meant:
"Estoy apenada."
"I am embarassed."


So these are not recent mistakes, I have gotten better, I am just posting the ones that hubby likes to remind me of every time he feels the need to get me pregnant in front of a group. Ooops, I mean, embarass me at a party. Share your own in comments, I see by the poll that many of you reading are native English speakers with Spanish as a second language, I am sure we have all made some doozies! (How would you say "doozy" in Spanish anyway?)

Comments

About Me said…
This is hilarious!! One of my friends she came from colombia and she was looking for a street and kept saying Bird Doctor for bird dr. finally i really she was look for bird drive!! We always laugh about that!
Melissa said…
Ever heard the expression for speaking unclearly, something like: It sounds like she's got marbles in her mouth when she talks. Something like that. But when I was first learning Spanish, I was getting frustrated with getting my mouth to make all of these new sounds, and I wanted to say that it felt like I had marbles in my mouth to express that.

Instead, I said: "Tengo muebles en la boca." (I've got furniture in my mouth).

Not that "Tengo la boca llena de canicas" sounds all that much better or logical.
Jennifer said…
I know i have some, but I can't pull them from my memory. I guess I am going to have to search the threads to see if I can find what they were, LOL
~Jennifer
CancunCanuck said…
Erica, I love Bird Drive, thanks for the giggle!

Melissa, muebles in your mouth would cause quite a big speech impediment for sure, I kind of like that phrase and may just steal it.

Jennifer, go digging, share, share!
Ruth said…
OMG Kelly I am LOL at my desk over these! I know those days are coming for me and Yamil won't let me live them down either.
Fned said…
Speaking to my boss one day, I can't remember of what, I wanted to say that someone had cut in line in front of me so I said "il m'a sauté" which literally means "he skipped me"... my boss looked at me pretty weird but said nothing....

.... that evening hubby explained that you don't say it that way and what I'd actually said was "he jumped my bones"

ZONK!
Jennifer said…
Ok I found the thread, and although I thought I put more down, here is one...
I was talking to my MIL about earrings, and so I know that I have a problem understanding how they talk sometimes so I pay extra attention. SO my brain was all into the earring conversation, and she said to me, Do you know has earrings? (Sabes quien tiene aritos) Who I said, and she said Milton (my BIL who I had met when I went to Honduras - and I KNEW he didn't have any) then she asked me if I wanted to talk to him, so I said yes. When he got on thephone I asked him about them, and he said no he didn't have them. Come to find out, I was concentrating so much on our discussion of earrings, that I misunderstood her. What she actually said was Sabe quien viene ahorita.

Oh yeah another one - that has nothing to do with me personally was a friend of my ex-husbands who came to our house and was telling about a guy he passed one night and they both were riding bikes. The friend was Guatemalan, and the other guy was white. So the friend wanted to warn the gringo about a hole in the ground, and he yelled out to the guy "fuck you hole ahead" and the guy stopped and looked at him, so he yelled it to him again, just to make sure he heard him. The friend thought fuck you meant cuidado - be careful, LMAO. (I still sit here laughing as I type this remembering him telling us the story)
~Jennifer
Anonymous said…
My Spanish is crap but I once asked a waitress for a "juegos de pina" a pineapple game, instead of a jugo de pina (a pineapple juice). No wonder she looked at me funny :)

Nice blog Kelly, only just discovered it today. Wish I had the inspiration and writing talent you have.

Steve
CancunCanuck said…
Ruth, your turn is coming, hahahahahaha.

fned, you cracked me up with the "He jumped my bones", good one! And to your boss no less!

Jennifer, thanks for sharing your stories, I LOVE the "fuck you hole ahead", that's hilarious.

Steve, hola amigo, perhaps we need to create a "pineapple game" and then it would be a legitimate question. Glad you found the blog (I haven't been pushing it much, I've really just begun!) and thanks for the kind words. Luckily I enjoy writing and have far too much to say, easy peasy for now. :)
heather said…
Oh, dear. On Halloween I was talking to my friends conservative mom, explaining that gringos dress up for Halloween, and that it's a fun party in Halloween. I told her that I had devil horns she could borrow, and then I asked, "Tienes un culo?" She blinked twice, then just stared at me. "OH, OH, perdon, tienes una COLA?" *red face, slink off*
Theresa said…
I found your blog thru Jonna's blog http://www.baddog.com/blog/blog.html
I came to Mexico speaking Spanish (I thought), but they use different words here in Yucatan than I am used to. I was saying something to my neighbor about the wall plugs and used the word "enchufe" only I misremembered and said "chucho" which apparently is slang for nipple here.Since the word they use is "contacto", my neighbor said that she had no idea what word I was misremembering.
Also, this wasn't me, but the word for exit is NOT "exito" which is excitment of a specific nature, but rather salida.
And the Comercial Mexicana store in the Gran Plaza Mall doesn't have name on the door so for the longest time, my husband thought it was called "Entrada". We had a "who's on first" conversation about that one.

regards,

Theresa
http://theresainmerida.blogspot.com

Popular posts from this blog

Mahahual Waterpark "Lost Mayan Kingdom"

You Say Rio, I Say Ria... Road Trip Rio Lagartos, Yucatan

Mexican Caribbean Road Trip - Detour to Tulum, Lo Siento Mucho Calakmul